


Lovingly, Painfully, Awkwardly Yours, Summer

by ESP_Witch



Series: The Summer Series [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Consensual Kink, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-07 15:14:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13437513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ESP_Witch/pseuds/ESP_Witch
Summary: In a world where Kakashi and Anko are older - Kakashi is Obito’s age, Anko is a year under him - the two teens come together one heated summer during the Fourth's reign, a summer that they have trouble letting go of. Because Kakashi has been compared to Sasuke, Anko to Naruto, and we're all looking for someone whose demons play well with ours. KakaAnko, Hurt/Comfort, Consensual Kink.





	1. It Started With A Seat

Chapter One: It Started With A Seat

“You’re sitting in my damn seat.”

Hatake Kakashi paused - and turned from the dango counter.  Mitarashi Anko stood before him, hands on her wide hips and a fierce scowl on her curvy, heart-shaped face.  It was a hot May day, and though it was hard to tell, Kakashi was sweating underneath all his layers of long-sleeved black and green flak vest and cloth face mask and hitai-ate.  Anko was sweating, too, he could just see a bead of sweat moving between the breasts of her open, revealing dress made of chain mesh armor, framed by the long trench coat filled with explosives.

Anko was fifteen.  Kakashi was sixteen.  The Fourth Hokage reigned.

Kakashi thought no one could tell how much suffering he was under, but Anko could and she thoroughly enjoyed it.  Kakashi had a penchant for wearing really slim, tight-fitting, long-sleeved black; he was lithely muscular, being an ANBU Captain, and currently covered in sweat stains.  For some people, that might have been a turnoff.

Anko, a hardass feminist kunoichi with a firm belief in the erotic power of suffering, was not some people.

Anko caught the flick of Kakashi’s single visible eye between her breasts and grinned.  “Like what you see, Hatake?” she asked playfully.  The messy purple hair tossed up behind her head in a clip somewhat added to the mischievous, girlish effect.  Her amber eyes shone in the fading sunlight of beginning summer.

Kakashi’s handsome dark eye flicked back to her face and he fell back on his usual frigidity.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.  And this isn’t your seat,” he said, faux mild.  “I don’t see your name stamped anywhere on it.”

“Ah, so you’re an arguer.  That makes you much more interesting,” said Anko cheerfully.  “And you’re a total dick.  Some girls find that hot, you know.”

“Yet again, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Says the guy who has an erotic novel stuck in the pocket of his vest.  The brand-new one from that anonymous pseudonym beginning author?  The one that’s been such a breakout hit?”

“I know the author personally.”

“Uh-huh,” Anko said slowly, her vicious grin widening.  “So, what -?”  It wasn’t always wise to needle an ANBU Captain, but Anko was confident in her fighting abilities.  “You’re that guy who reads porn but never actually does anything about it?  That’s _lame,”_ she announced.

“Alright, let me be more explicit,” said Kakashi sharply, and a kind of fierceness had entered his tone as his visible eye narrowed at her.  Oh, yeah.  Now _that_ was hot, Anko thought.  “Some girls find that very hot,” said Kakashi sarcastically, “until they find out I’m not showing them the face underneath my cloth face mask and they then find out I like reading erotic fiction.”

“You’re mysterious and into kinky shit.  That’s pretty cool,” Anko announced, grinning.  “And that is my seat.”

Kakashi blinked at the sudden change in subject.

“I sit there every day for lunch.  It’s one of the only vices I allow myself.  I have tea and dango dumplings,” Anko snapped, her changeable face falling into thunderhead again.  “Look, this is -”  She looked around.  “This is one of the only damn places that’ll let me in and not bother me, Kakashi,” she hissed, seeming embarrassed.  “And that’s my seat.  You can have any other fucking seat you want.  No one gives a shit about you.  Why do you have to have that one?”

Kakashi was surprised.  “People still care that your old Sensei experimented on you, turned missing nin, and then abandoned you?”

Few had ever been so cripplingly blunt.

Anko sighed.  “Yeah,” she said broadly, equally blunt.  “Unfortunately, they do.”

Kakashi frowned.  “That’s dumb.  Anyone can see you are loyal to the village, you hate Orochimaru, and you are surprisingly stable.”

“Surprisingly stable.  What a compliment,” Anko smirked.  “Hey, you won’t get any arguments from me, man.  I know it’s dumb.  Will you give me my damn lunch seat?”

Kakashi paused - and then, revealing very little, he slid himself and his lunch over to the stool beside Anko’s lunch seat.  Anko hopped up beside him, surprised but pleased.

“Company, huh?  I’ll take it.”

“... You were incorrect.”

Anko looked around curiously, in Kakashi’s eyes surprisingly innocent.

“I am an orphan.  Both of my childhood teammates have died tragically in battles I was involved in, one in a mercy killing at my hand, the other giving me an invaluable fighting technique right before he passed.  I am a ruthless ANBU Captain.  Do you know what they call me?”  Kakashi smiled humorlessly.  “Friend Killer.  With all unproven that it implies.”

“Damn, that’s shitty!” said Anko indignantly.  Then she sighed.  “But predictable,” she admitted, calmer and more sympathetic.  She didn’t seem fazed.  “Anyone can see you’re not a friend-murderer, and I should know, because I was taught by one; some people are so terribly unperceptive.  Well, considering how the Snake Bastard abandoned me and how much older he is, wherever he is out there… I don’t think my Snake Bitch nickname is much better in implication.

“Buy a drink.  Doesn’t have to be sake.  Let’s make a toast to people sucking.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, but did as she asked.  “Tea, like her,” he requested, his mug was slid across the table beside hers, and they clinked cups.  “To people sucking,” he admitted, feeling more raw and human than he had in a good while.

“You should come to one of my tea ceremonies,” said Anko, sipping.  “You’re a real quiet type; I think you’d be good there, and for obvious reasons I never attract quite enough good foot traffic to the teahouse when I host.  Oh, and that book?  Novice stuff in the world of kink.  I can recommend better.”

“Do you know, you are almost a stereotype,” Kakashi mused, eyeing her chain-mail dress, explosives coat, and vicious smirk.

“Ah, but not quite!”  Anko pointed at him and grinned.  “Way too much of a spazz!  That’s my secret!”

Kakashi chuckled despite himself.

“What else do you read?” he asked.

“Not much,” said Anko.  “Which is why you in turn can help me.”  

Kakashi paused, even his mess of premature silvery hair stilling above his young face.  It was impossible to tell what he was thinking underneath the cloth face mask and low-slung hitai-ate.  

“Come on,” said Anko.  “I need someone to hang out and eat lunch with every afternoon, and I need another extra at my tea ceremonies.  I’m not asking you to sign your life away in blood.

“I could.  That sounds cool.  But I won’t.”

“Definitely starting you in the Gothic horror romance genre,” Kakashi decided aloud, and Anko knew she’d been accepted.

“The fact that you have any idea what that is at all,” she declared, “is totally awesome.”

-

Kakashi did as promised.  He started attending Anko’s tea ceremonies, where both he (with his solemnity) and Anko (surprisingly well behaved and smiling serenely) were able to meet in the middle a little more than they usually would have.  They quickly fed off of each other as budding tea connoisseurs.

Kakashi and Anko also lent each other books during lunch meetings at the dango bar.  Anko had a big, unashamed appetite; Kakashi could appreciate that, after some of the fangirls who chased after him.  Sometimes Anko smoked outside afterward and Kakashi stood beside her, reminding her patiently about health.  He took good health seriously and personally as a control thing; she said she smoked, with a bitter, vicious smile, because she knew “her old bastard of a Sensei would have hated an invaluable student risking her health that way.”

But mostly they talked about books.  It only took Kakashi a few meetings to deduce that half the things in most erotic fiction would be totally impossible to achieve in real life; it took Anko an even shorter period of time to deduce that so many of the women in Gothic horror romance were what she termed “pathetic, shrieky victim women.”

They were arguing one afternoon at the dango shop, big plates in front of them and brand-new packets of obscure teas to try on the counter between them.

“The aesthetic is amazing, but the women _suck!”_ said Anko indignantly.  “What if the chick wants to drink the dude’s blood, not the other way around?  I demand to see that story!”  She pounded the table with a fist, a Gothic romance on the table near the tea packets.

“Okay, okay, Anko,” said Kakashi, raising his hands, good-naturedly exasperated.  “Maybe don’t shout so loud about blood-drinking in public.”

“It was also rapey, which was weird?  Kink is about both people enjoying the process of dominance and submissiveness, so if one person is obviously distressed or upset, that’s not kinky - it’s just rapey.  Speaking of which, what did you think of what I lent you?” said Anko, grinning.  “Not rapey!  And some of it sounded surprisingly doable, right?”

Next to the Gothic romance was an erotic book full of massive (and actually correctly presented, Anko had insisted fiercely) kink.

“If by some of it, you mean, fifty percent of the sex instead of forty percent of the sex…” said Kakashi skeptically, “then yes.”

“And it was hot!”

“I’m not contesting that.  Again, maybe a bit too much shouting.”

“See, in books like this, women actually do drink male blood.  A lot.  It’s a whole BDSM type of thing.  Some people even do it in Gothic outfits,” said Anko casually.

Kakashi frowned down at the book.  Then looked back up at Anko.  Who was grinning just that little bit too much.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?"

“No,” said Kakashi immediately, turning back toward the counter.

“Liar,” said Anko casually.  “Come on, Kakashi.  You’re not curious?  You said it yourself: you don’t know any other women who are into kink.  And I promise I’ll never ask to see underneath your mask, and there are absolutely no strings attached to this offer.

“You have kind of a dignified gentleman vibe to you.  I dig that.  I decided last night.”

Kakashi gave her a fondly exasperated look.  She’d just decided last night to have sex with him?

“So what is it?  Too hot?  Damaged goods?”  Anko leaned back, faux casual and deceptively dangerous, in her seat at the counter.

“... You’re sure you want to have sex with me?  The frigid asshole people call Friend Killer?” Kakashi asked skeptically in return.

Anko grinned.  “I think we’re perfect for each other,” she said, in a voice that went right up his spine.  There was a challenge in her eyes - she wanted to see if she’d met her match, a true kunoichi to the end.  “Come on, Hatake.  Get out of your own head for once.”

He looked her dead in the eye, rising to her challenge.  “Deal,” he said heatedly.

Anko liked that look.  She liked it a _lot._

-

Back at Anko’s place - a small house, decorated in rich dark velvets and potted plants, better than his bare apartment - despite how impulsive it was and always would be back then, it took a few false stops and starts.  Kakashi found himself to be embarrassingly awkward at physical intimacy, incapable of just letting go.

Anko, it was obvious, hadn’t been lying - she _did_ have a lot more experience than he did.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Kakashi,” she finally said, threw her arms around his neck, surprised him, and kissed him in a whole different way - kissed him fiercely.  She was like a tidal wave of force, and finally he got the basic point, which was to give up and drown.

They did the kink they had promised, Anko had delicious and mischievous fun doing it, lending a refreshingly light, teasing tone to the sex, and as Anko had promised she never asked to see underneath his mask.  But the interaction was… complicated.  Anko was hands everywhere, almost manic under the pressure, but forceful, with no emotion to it - after a while it was all domination for her, like he wasn’t even there.

Finally, he put out his hands - tentatively, gently - and she paused.  “Let’s try this,” he said, and they fell into something more gentle, touching, and surprisingly tender.  The end of the sex became soft, quiet.  They came together, slowly, as one - each emotional for different reasons.

Kakashi felt high, wild - more human than he had in years.  For a short, blessed while, he just let himself feel, short circuited, frayed wires - and the way they ended up doing it might have seemed fucked up to some, but he realized he’d have a hard time letting it go in private.  And it meant something to them.

They lay there beside each other on the bed afterward, breathing quietly.

“Sorry,” Anko said at last.  “The Snake Bastard did actually fuck me a couple of times.”  She looked over at him with her practiced hard expression, her heart secretly pounding.  “It’s not why I’m kinky, you know.  Healthy people have kink.

“But it is why I have other issues with sex.  The whole forceful, you’re-not-there thing.  He did fuck me.  I don’t let people know - don’t like to give them the satisfaction.  

“That’s where he got the idea of this nifty little seal he left me with on my neck looking like some permanent, fucked up hickie.”

But Kakashi’s eyes were gentle, handsome dark and scarred swirling red Sharingan both.  She wondered if he’d always remember this, and in a weird way she liked that, being a little imprint on his physical memory.  “It’s okay,” he said softly, sympathetic, and for him it was simple, that was all it was for him.  “... I sort of shut myself off after my father killed himself,” Kakashi admitted.  “I just walked in on him, and he hadn’t done it in front of me, but he was just laying there with his guts spilled out of him.”

“Honor death,” Anko agreed, wincing.

“Yeah.  I was five,” said Kakashi.  “The trait runs in my family, but that’s when my black hair turned silver.  Like my father before me, it’s also why I started wearing my mask.  Then my teammates died, one after the other, both in battle…  So I’ve never really done this before.  Gotten close.

“It’s nice,” he admitted, “doing it with you.”

He was oddly sincere in the way of the inexperienced.  Anko snorted, but smiled.  He was weirdly endearing.  “Of course it is,” she said, and grinned.  “But thanks.”

He rolled his eyes but smiled.

“Yeah,” Anko admitted, “Orochimaru picked me out of an orphanage.  So I don’t really know what any of that’s like.”

Kakashi paused in surprise.  “... It was a good pick,” he said quietly.  “From a horrible man.”  He didn’t hate very many things, finding it to be an irrational urge, but he decided he hated Orochimaru.

“Yeah,” said Anko neutrally, shrugging, “he always did have an eye for people.  Mostly people who could do something for him.”  Anko was above all things practical.

Kakashi paused, and then reached up to his cloth face mask.

“Well, hey,” said Anko in surprise, half raising herself up on her elbows, her eyes widened, “I didn’t mean it in a guilt way, you don’t have to -”

“I know.  I want to,” said Kakashi.  He paused, “Is it… is it okay?” he asked awkwardly, hoping in the weirdest, most embarrassing way for acceptance.

Anko paused, and smiled.  “Yeah,” she said, deciding Hatake Kakashi was a big, lovable dork.  “It’s okay.”

He pulled down his mask and showed her his face.  Few people had ever seen it - Hatake Kakashi’s true face.  Anko reached out and touched it in wonder.  It was a good face - slim with high cheekbones but a strong chin, above a lithely muscular, pale chest beaded with sweat, covered in a top of messy silvery hair, the kind of sign of premature aging no kid should ever have in the kind of perfect world Anko didn’t believe in.

Despite all her proclamations of raw strength, she knew the score.  In legend, compared to Hatake Kakashi, even a former student of Orochimaru was nothing.  And Hatake Kakashi had just willingly shown her his true face.

Their eyes met.  They leaned their heads forward on the sweaty pillows, bruised and slightly bloody, and shared a soft, hot breath of a kiss, their hands meeting to hold each other’s.

They were in bizarre costume, but well, in their eccentric eyes, that was just life.

Then abruptly Anko leaned back.  “I’m making breakfast in the morning,” she said.  “But only because it’s my place.  Same rules apply to you.  Order out if you have to.”

“Of course, of course,” said Kakashi in amusement, exasperated.

“Good.”  Anko rolled over and switched off her deep red hanging-chain bedside lamp.  “Then go to sleep.”

Kakashi’s eyes followed the soft curvature of her shoulders on the dark velvet round bed, her long dark purple hair falling messily around her neck, the black seal so rarely exposed, everything imprinting itself onto his memory.  He knew Anko, or he thought he did.  This was her tough act.  She was trying to pretend like this whole evening hadn’t gotten to her.

In a way, he supposed he could understand that.  It was why they were well suited.

“Goodnight, Anko,” he said, rolled over and willed himself to sleep in that way only a skilled ninja could.

“... Goodnight, Kakashi,” she said softly.

Summer had begun in earnest.  They would spend the remaining half of May and all of June together.

A lot fit itself into that month and a half.


	2. End of Isolation

Chapter Two: End of Isolation

They managed this a few more times in relative secret - the lunches, the tea ceremonies, the nights at Anko’s place, when they’d often wake up in the morning with their arms slung lazily around each other. It was a language of intimacy neither of them was quite familiar with yet, an entirely human gesture unusual in their lives before.

A kind of casual compassion toward each other, a gentle, good-natured teasing and sarcastic back and forth developed. Things like casual kisses started coming easier in private. They began smiling at each other a lot more, and Anko even giggled once, something she made an amused Kakashi swear on pain of death never to speak of again.

“I swear to God, Kakashi!” she growled, red-faced, as Kakashi bent over laughing in her bedroom. (He did not laugh much before meeting Anko.) “If you tell anyone, I’ll -!” She raised a fist.

“Yes, yes, pull my guts out through my nose, I’m aware,” said Kakashi calmly, and then he leaned forward and kissed her, startling her into silence. She made a humming noise and stood on her tiptoes to reach them there before her bed, an entirely endearing gesture he had come to think of with a warmer heart than was entirely normal for him.

He pulled back and they smiled at each other. “Thank goodness you have me,” said Anko, grinning and ruffling Kakashi’s hair, her little nose wrinkling. “That apartment doesn’t even look like anyone lives there!”

“No complaints here,” Kakashi murmured.

They had eventually just decided to alternate breakfast-making at Anko’s place. Anko was even surprisingly okay with Kakashi’s nin-dogs sometimes wandering around there, adaptable to the end.

But sooner or later, someone was going to find out. For Anko, it was her closest friends, Genma, Kurenai, Hayate, and Yugao, as well as Anko’s current mentor Ibiki. For Kakashi, it was his old Sensei the Fourth, the Fourth’s wife Kushina, and the Fourth’s own former teacher Jiraiya, as well as young Uchiha Itachi from Kakashi’s ANBU unit and Kakashi’s old friend Gai.

Anko and Kakashi parted ways after lunch at the dango shop one afternoon and both found themselves pausing in surprise at different points along their usual route.

Anko’s party stood in front of Kakashi, looking purposefully reserved and intimidating. He bristled slightly, but stood cautious and remained silent in the Konoha street.

Kakashi’s party stood in front of Anko, smiling but looking intent and concerned. Anko stopped, her eyes round and startled.

Both Kakashi and Anko mutually swore to blow their top later if the other had planned this.

After these talks, the two groups had then agreed to reverse. The isolated part of Kakashi and Anko’s little story was over.


	3. Operation Dog Meets Snake

Chapter Three: Operation Dog Meets Snake

“... Ibiki,” Kakashi greeted cautiously.  Morino Ibiki was head of ANBU torture and interrogation.  That was who he had to worry about.  The others were friends his and Anko’s age; _that,_ at least, he could deal with.

Morino Ibiki, hulking, scarred, and bald, was frowning at him.  The heat wasn’t on, at least not yet.

“Kakashi,” he said.  “I assume you know why I’m here?”

“Considering you’re with people Anko has mentioned as friends… yeah, I have a pretty good idea,” Kakashi admitted, faux calm, hands on weapons shoved in his pockets.  “I didn’t know the two of you were close.”

“After interrogating her, I vouched for her innocence,” said Ibiki.  “We formed a friendship.  She’s like my kid.  And I’m not sure I like you hanging out with her.”

“What does that mean?  I would also like to point out… that Anko would be the first to say she can defend herself and make her own choices,” said Kakashi quietly.  “I can hear the feminist rant in my head right now.”

“What he means, Kakashi, is that we’re not trying to protect Anko because she’s a girl.  We’re trying to protect Anko because she’s vulnerable and mixed up,” said Kurenai fiercely.  “As a feminist myself, I can safely say that.”  Kurenai was a girl about Anko’s age, daughter of the Ninja Academy headmaster, with thick black curls and brilliant crimson eyes.  Studying genjutsu.

The others were Hayate and Yugao - in love, a budding young couple and everyone knew it, both studying swordsmanship - and Genma, a medic and poison-master who always carried a deadly senbon needle between his teeth like a toothpick.

Kakashi acknowledged Kurenai’s point and looked down.  “... I know that,” he admitted.  “But I’m not intending on hurting her.”

“We’re aware of that, Hatake, but that’s not good enough,” said Ibiki threateningly, stepping forward.  “I want you to promise not to hurt her.  Oh, you look surprised.  What, you thought we believed in the bullshit rumors?” he challenged.

“Come on, Kakashi, we’re not that stupid,” said Genma casually, his face as always frowning, stoical, hard.  “We know you didn’t kill Obito and Rin.”

Kakashi’s eyes flashed with anger.  His face twisted, and he forced himself to grit his teeth and look down again.  Hearing the names… everything was still a bit raw.

“What I think everyone means,” said Hayate, looking around, always the cautious and diplomatic one, thin and pale, “is that we just want to make sure Anko’s going to be okay.”

“We want to know you’re not just treating this like a fling, Hatake,” said Yugao in her rough, fierce voice, her ponytail bouncing with every flash of her head.

“I’m not,” said Kakashi quietly.  “It means a lot to me, too.  But some of these things I can’t promise, because no one can.  I can promise to try not to hurt her; I can’t realistically promise to succeed.  Just like she can’t promise not to hurt me, no matter how well she plans or how hard she tries.  I can’t promise Anko’s going to be okay.  She can’t promise I’m going to be okay, either.”

It was an unusually long and intent speech for him.

The group looked thoughtful.  “... You really care about this, don’t you?” said Ibiki thoughtfully.

“Of course I do,” said Kakashi, glaring.  “I’m just as fucked up as Anko.”

The words were acidic, and several sets of eyes widened in surprise.  At first, Kakashi thought he’d shot his mouth off and he’d had it, but then sympathy overtook them.

“... Yeah.  I think Anko would be the first to say that’s a fair point,” said Kurenai quietly.

-

“How are you, Anko?” said the Fourth Hokage himself kindly, tall, blond, young, and handsome.

“F-fine, sir!”  Anko straightened, nervous.

The Fourth smiled.  “That’s good,” he said.  Then he frowned a little.  “And… in your opinion, how is Kakashi?”

Anko paused.

“We heard,” said Kushina, with her long red hair, sympathetically from beside her husband.  “We’re not… forbidding anything, we just want to make sure everything’s okay.  That you’re in it for the right reasons.”

Anko bristled, feeling slightly patronized.  “And what are the right reasons?” she muttered rebelliously.

“Well,” said Itachi mildly, a small black-haired boy with a precocious voice, “you know, the usual suspects.  Love.  Respect.  Compassion.”

“How old are you?” said Anko incredulously, and Itachi the ANBU agent responded by rolling his eyes.

“Plebeians,” he muttered.  

“It’s his word of the week,” Kushina said helpfully.

“Hey!  I’ll show you a fucking plebeian!” Anko shouted, making a fist - Itachi raised calm eyebrows, unafraid but more alert - and then Gai in his ridiculous green spandex costume got between them.

“Ah!  Anko-san!  While it is good you are burning with the fires of youth, perhaps now is not the time to be attacking one of Kakashi’s friends,” said Gai with warm humor.

“That’s… good advice,” Anko admitted, relaxing.  “Sorry, I’m a little… tense.”  She eyed the Fourth, his famous wife, and the even more famous Sannin beside them.

“Relax,” said Jiraiya, a huge, broad-shouldered mountain of a man with a long mane of white hair.  “I’m not my dickhead fuckface teammate.”

Anko blinked.  “That’s… oddly reassuring,” she admitted, her lips twitching.

Jiraiya sighed.  “Look,” he said, “I’ve been trying to get that kid laid for years, so God knows I’m not going to cut off his source of growing libido.  But pityingly, unlike me, Kakashi is not advanced enough to be interested in brief, casual affairs -”

“Advanced enough?” said Kushina wryly.

 _“Talking,”_ Jiraiya growled, looking around to glare at Kushina and also at Minato, her husband, who was trying to repress a smile.  “And, well, we want to make sure you feel the same way.  Kakashi’s got enough problems.”

“Oh, okay.”  Anko was bewildered.  “That’s nice - really nice, actually,” she admitted.  “Alright, well, you don’t got shit to worry about.  I mean, I’m not averse to the casual, but trust me, that’s not with this is.  I actually giggled the other day.   _Giggled.”_

To their credit, everyone stared, obviously trying to imagine Anko giggling.

“And if you tell anyone,” said Anko, blushing, arms crossed, “I’ll have each and every single one of you individually assassinated.”

“I believe her.  She means it,” said Itachi informatively, his Sharingan eyes activated.

Minato sighed.  “Yes, thank you, Itachi.  What have we said about activating the Sharingan in public?”

“Oh.  Sorry.”  The Sharingan switched off.

Tears had filled Gai’s eyes.  “I AM SO GLAD KAKASHI HAS FOUND SOMEONE TO SPEND HIS SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH WITH!  ANKO-SAN, YOU AND I WILL HAVE TO -!”

But Anko blessedly never found out what she and Gai would have to do, because at that point Kakashi and Anko’s friends walked up behind them.  “See?” said Kakashi’s voice.  “And you thought your friends were weird.”

Anko whirled around, smiling - then she scowled and got right up in his face.  “Did you plan this?!” she demanded.

“No!” said Kakashi indignantly.  “Did _you?!”_

“Did I?!  Why the hell would I be paranoid enough to -?!”

“Oh, so I’m paranoid?”

“Actually… before we cause your first big fight…”  Minato held up his hand ruefully.  “Neither of you knew we were all planning this together.”

“You planned two separate ambushes?” said Anko incredulously.  

“We were… concerned.”

“That’s - very concerned,” said Kakashi disbelievingly, more than slightly irritated.

“But you both passed our litmus test!  So congratulations!” said Kushina brightly, as usual not reading the social cues in any way at all.

“You think this was bad?  Sensei once sent an ANBU guard out after me when I was going to a restaurant holding a spicy food eating contest,” said Kakashi matter of factly.  “And the guy had a change of clothes in case I ate too much spicy food and shit myself.”

Anko smirked.  “Had you ever done that before?”

“No!”

“Oh.”  She frowned.  “Wow, that’s… interesting.”

“Interesting.  Yeah.  That’s a good word.”

“Okay!” Minato exploded, embarrassed, and everyone looked around in surprise at him.  (Kushina was trying to hold back her laughter, as were Ibiki with somewhat more success and Jiraiya with no success at all.)  “Operation Dog Meets Snake is complete!”

“Sounds like a bad karate movie,” Anko muttered, and Kakashi smirked, and the entire group realized with dread that they had the exact same senses of humor and would be feeding off of each other for the entire rest of the time they were together.

“Now we all go in different directions.  Kakashi, coming with us.”  Minato, Kushina, and Jiraiya steered a yelping and then protesting Kakashi away in the other direction, Itachi and Gai following smilingly and politely behind.

“And you know the drill,” said Ibiki to Anko, smirking.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” she sighed, walking off between Kurenai and Yugao, her two best girl friends.  Genma and Hayate shrugged and followed them, Ibiki watchfully at the back.

-

“So… as one of your best girlfriends… how did I not know you were dating one of the hottest assholes in the village?” Yugao demanded of Anko without any real malice.

“Oh, don’t say that about him.  He’s actually really nice,” Anko scolded mildly.

“Aww… you actually like him, don’t you?” said Kurenai, grinning.  “That’s my bet with Kushina-sama lost.”

“You bet that I didn’t give a shit about him?!” Anko demanded.  “How many people exactly know about this?!”

“Anko, it’s a ninja village,” said Ibiki.  

Anko sighed.  “... Fair point,” she admitted.  “Look, I didn’t tell you because - I didn’t know what to call it.  I’ve never dated someone who’s actually nice to me before,” she said, looking down.  “We’re into the same weird shit, and our fucked up parts dance really well together, and he’s really nice to me, and he’s really quiet where I’m really spazzy, and he makes everything seem more… I don’t know, loving and meaningful and shit.  He wants me to take better care of myself, and he loves that I love food.  And I didn’t know what to call that.”

“It’s called a stable, healthy, caring relationship, I think,” said Kurenai gently, only half joking. 

“It’s also known as a good thing, though,” Yugao added.

“Just take care of yourself, okay?” said Ibiki, veiled concern behind his eyes.  “And don’t put up with any bullshit.”

“Let Ibiki put up with the bullshit.  He’s good at it,” Genma pointed out.

“Quite right.  We all care about you, you know, Anko,” said Hayate matter of factly and politely.

“... Thanks, guys,” said Anko quietly, with a little smile as she looked down.  Then she looked back up, curious.  “So… are we talking, like, betting pool, or…?”

“There’s a different one for every rank,” said Kurenai matter of factly.

“And I’m running all of them.  Let the cash flow,” said Yugao, smirking, making money slides with her fingers.

Anko turned to Hayate.  “Your girlfriend’s a budding casino gangster.”

“Not my girlfriend,” sighed Hayate.  “And yes, I am aware.”

Genma chuckled despite himself, shaking his head.

-

Across Konoha, Kakashi was getting a similar interrogation.

“And… we didn’t know you were banging a hot chick in a really kinky way, because…?” Jiraiya demanded, irritated and puzzled.

Gai then had to stop Kakashi from physically vaulting himself at Jiraiya, surprising all of them.  “Don’t talk about her like that!” Kakashi growled.

“Kakashi…” said Minato uneasily.

“Ah, it’s fine.  Come on, kid, let me have it,” said Jiraiya, grinning and getting into a stance.  “Finally!”

“No!  We’re not doing this!” Kushina yelled, getting in between them and glaring between all of the sheepish men.  “As the only woman in this group, I veto that decision immediately!”

Everyone backed down.

“So one has to listen if it’s a woman?” said Itachi curiously.  “Because that would be a helpful thing to know in reading social cues.”

“Exactly.  Always listen to the woman,” said Kushina with her arms folded.

“Nah, you don’t have to,” said Jiraiya casually.

“Says the guy who just did,” Minato muttered wryly in amusement.

Jiraiya decided to ignore all of them.  “Look, I mean what I said: Finally.  It’s a good thing,” said Jiraiya.  Kakashi paused in surprise, Gai cautiously releasing him.  “It means something’s finally getting underneath that armor of yours.  Which is healthy, not a bad thing,” he reminded when Kakashi looked discomfited.

“Yeah, I know.  I guess I just… didn’t say anything because I was enjoying it being my own private little thing,” Kakashi said awkwardly, not sure how to explain this urge.  “We try new teas, and we have a favorite lunch place, and we talk about books… and sex.  Surprisingly openly, actually.  I’m always nagging her about not smoking and she puts up with it.  And she’s okay with the two of us cooking at her place, which is a whole house and it’s a lot nicer decorated than mine, and my dogs hang out there.  I just… I was enjoying have my own…”

“Your own human thing.”  Kushina nodded.  “It’s natural to feel protective of that,” she said, as everyone looked curious.  “But look… the more loving people you let in, the more human it becomes.”

“INDEED!  NOW I SHALL HAVE TO FIND MY OWN HOT GIRLFRIEND IN OUR ULTIMATE COMPETITIVE BATTLE AGAINST ONE ANOTHER!”

This was Gai’s way of saying Kakashi had a girlfriend and this was the new normal for him.

“No,” said Kakashi flatly.  “No, you really don’t.”

But as he walked among his friends, talking about the girl he was dating, looking forward to an actually livable place of hers he could go back to where his dogs were waiting… it was nice, he could admit to himself privately, feeling like he had a life.

Little did he know, Anko was walking with her own friends on the other side of the village, thinking something similar.

And after that it was a little more like they actually had a relationship - with all that implied.


	4. Working On It

Chapter Four: Working On It

The nice thing about Kakashi and Anko dating was that it brought their two little groups together.

They started going as a couple to gigantic Friends Nights at various restaurants.  Anko and Kakashi would watch in amusement, sitting beside each other and quietly holding hands, as Gai exploded into enthusiastic flurries of motion at every turn; Minato, Kushina, and Jiraiya pretended other patrons weren’t staring at them; Itachi tried to pretend he wasn’t a small child; Kurenai and Yugao spent most of their time yelling at Gai; Hayate spent most of his time trying uneasily to pacify Yugao; and Ibiki and Genma traded bets like pros as to how long it would take before this line or that explosion of temper, or before someone came up to ask one of the big three at the table for an autograph.

“I think our friends all need a trip to Gamblers Anonymous,” said Anko dubiously.

“I think most ninja need trips to lots of things,” Kakashi pointed out.

“Eh.”  Anko shrugged.  “True.  Good point.”  She went back to her dinner.

So when they decided Kakashi was moving into Anko’s place, their friends immediately knew and were understandably skeptical.

“But… you guys haven’t been dating that long… isn’t that unusual?” said Minato uneasily.

“Fuck if I know.  If I had family I gave a shit about, I’d probably have told them by now too,” said Anko bluntly.  “I don’t know, I guess neither of us really cares how people usually do things.”

“I practically already live there anyway,” Kakashi pointed out, equally casual.

“Yeah.  His place is such shit, it would be a crime to leave him there,” said Anko.

“And living with one another is more convenient,” said Kakashi calmly, “sex, dates, etc.”

More than one person choked on what they were drinking.

“Nice,” said Jiraiya, nodding and grinning.  

Kakashi gave him a dubious sort of look.  “... Thank you?”

“But - I mean -”  Kushina looked desperately uneasy.  “What if you… break up?”

Everyone hesitated, waiting for the inevitable Anko explosion…

Anko shrugged.  “I don’t know,” she said, puzzled.  “We’ll probably just keep living together.”

“Yeah,” said Kakashi.  “We are friends, and it’s not like either of us used to have incredibly intense romantic lives.”

“Maybe change that to successful romantic lives,” said Anko thoughtfully.  “Mine was intense.  It just really sucked.”

While Kakashi was walking home with his friends, Jiraiya pointed out, “You know, it seems like you two went straight from friends… to sex and living together.”

“Yeah.  So?” said Kakashi, nonplussed.

“So… what about the romantic dating part in the middle?” Minato pointed out kindly.

“Do you think she cares?” said Kakashi, surprised.

“All women care,” said Kushina warmly with a secret smile, “at least a little bit.  Here’s an idea: Why don’t you surprise her with something romantic the night after you’ve moved in together?”

Kakashi looked thoughtful…

-

Anko was being led through her house, eyes closed, by Kakashi.  And she was extremely annoyed about it.

“Kakashi.  I don’t like surprises.”

“Just a little further…”

“If this is about our latest sex toy, I wanted us to pick it out _together.”_

“It’s not our latest sex toy.”

“Then what’s the damn point?!”

“Anko.  Calm down.  You’re almost there.”  Kakashi was beginning to sound exasperated.

“I will not be calm!  Fuck that!  And when did my house suddenly become so damn big -?!”

“Open them.”

Anko opened her eyes impatiently - and gasped, wide-eyed, immediately going into silence.

Sitting in front of her in the middle of her house was a candlelit dinner.  Completely hand-made.  With wine and tea.  The table was set and lit with candles.  And the decorations were lush and amazing - dark, Gothic, ancient, and beautiful, like something straight out of one of their favorite novels.

Two seats across the table - one for each of them.

“I thought maybe we needed a little more romance,” said Kakashi, with a warm smile in his voice from behind his mask.  “Consider this my treat.”

“Wow…”  For once, Anko was totally speechless.  Smiling, she slowly sat down, and found a little wrapped gift next to her plate.  She opened it…  “My favorite crimson red lipstick,” she said in surprise.

“I saw you were out.  You mentioned it once as your favorite but you said it was expensive,” said Kakashi, shrugging as he sat down, as if all of this was genuinely no big deal.  “The dessert is chocolate.  I thought it fit the general aesthetic of everything else.”

“You made _dessert too?”_

“In your exact words: it’s not a full meal without dessert.”

Anko leaped across the table, clinking into a couple of plates, and kissed Kakashi, surprising the hell out of him.  Then she leaned back and smiled at him.

She was smiling and blushing, seeming strangely shy and delighted, throughout the rest of the meal.  Kakashi’s eyes were kind, gentle, warm, he was constantly polite - and Anko wasn’t entirely sure what to do with any of this, but it made her really happy.

They had sex that night - for once free, open, warm, shy, and unusually tender and loving.  Each began trying their hardest to please the other.

-

And then there were other times when they had spats.

Sometimes it was over Kakashi’s absent-minded habits of leaving the toilet seat up and leaving his clothes exactly anywhere.

“You’re so detail-oriented you can tell when the fruit for dinner wasn’t ripe when it was picked!” Anko would snap.  “I know you can remember to leave the damn toilet seat down and throw your clothes in the damn hamper!”

Kakashi would always retreat into cold silence and veiled barbs.  It was like being whipped to death by boiled spaghetti and, a shouting Anko decided, the most infuriating way to fight _ever._

Kakashi would sometimes ask Anko for more romance, or more depth of feeling, which would in turn always set her off into defensiveness.

“Am I not good enough for you?!  Is that what you’re saying?!”

_“No!”_ Kakashi would shout, rarely annoyed.   _“No, it’s not!  And you should understand that by now!”_

“Oh, I should understand -?!”

But far more often, they comforted each other’s wounds instead.

After their fights, Kakashi would always hold Anko and comfort her and tell her he still cared about her and everything was fine.  When she froze up during sex, he always stopped and just lay there beside her, saying comforting words, until he was sure she was okay again.  Even when they bickered about her smoking, he made sure she always knew he only argued because he cared about her health.

And unlike her previous ex-boyfriends, he was never a rough, brusque asshole and he never shamed her about things like how much she ate.  He liked her the way she was, not the way he idealistically wanted her to be.

And she in turn helped him.  When he woke up from night terrors and had flashbacks in cold sweats, as a battle-type kunoichi herself she always knew just what to say to calmly talk him down out of them, peppering her talk with little quiet jokes about other things.  She treated meeting his teammates’ graves and listening to his conversations with them as seriously as if they had been standing right in front of her.  When he got unusually quiet, she just did the warm and carefully casual talking for him.

She kept him on target - kept him from getting distracted, mired in his own thoughts, kept him from showing up late and retreating increasingly behind defenses and into eccentric quirkiness.

They opened each other up - kept each other healthy at one of the most vital moments of either of their lives.  When one talked, the other sympathetically listened.  They were good friends, with a good-natured, sarcastic back and forth camaraderie.  Each instinctively knew they could trust the other.  Both began gaining easier reputations among their ninja coworkers on missions.

Kakashi even got Anko to let up on the wanton threats of bloodthirsty violence she delighted in humorously inflicting on terrified underlings.

Well.  He worked on that.  A little.


	5. Forgiveness

Chapter Five: Forgiveness

The real turning point was the shrine festival Kakashi and Anko went to toward the end of June.

The whole village was decked out as major tourist destination, which it was at least several times a year.  Stalls of sweets and fried foods, bouncy houses and haunted houses, lined the streets, which would on the final day feature a parade of floats moving from the big main shrine through the tree-lined, shady paved Konoha streets toward its final destination in front of the village council building, a bulging white plaster affair with the usual brightly colored, oddly shaped roof.

Anko and Kakashi went together, moving through the crowds of people, past parents buying food from stalls and their children playing fish-catching games in big troughs set up to play with in the streets.

“Aww, that’d be cute, if you had a kid,” said Anko fondly.

Kakashi looked surprised.  “I didn’t even know you liked kids.”

“Oh, yeah.  Unfulfilled pipe dreams of being a teacher,” said Anko warmly, watching the kids play a ways off.  “What?!” she snapped when Kakashi just continued to look.  “I’d be a good teacher!  You know I only scare the rookie ninja because I think it’s funny.”  She shrugged.

“True.  You would definitely be intimidating enough disciplining as a mother,” Kakashi mused.

“Yeah.”  Anko grinned.  “But half the time I’d be right in there, goofing off with them.  You, you’d be a good dad.”

“... Yeah,” said Kakashi fondly, looking off into the distance.  “I think I would.  But somehow I don’t think it’s in the cards.  Maybe in another life.”

“Damn.  Stop sounding so depressing.  You’re, like, what, sixteen?” said Anko skeptically.

“Oh, was I sounding depressing?  Sorry,” said Kakashi unrepentantly, amused.  Anko gave him a flat glare.

Then: “Come on!” she called, pulling him insistently toward a bouncy castle and a haunted house, side by side.  “Fun!” she yelled.  “Then food!”

“That is the usual order!” Kakashi called back.

Anko insisted on trying no less than three haunted houses and two bouncy castles before she was satisfied.  “Come on!” she screamed, jumping up and down in a bouncy house and calling to Kakashi who was standing skeptically outside.  “This is the one time when you’re _supposed_ to look like a dork!”

Then she yanked him, yelping, into the bouncy castle.

No one working for the haunted houses liked them, though.  Kakashi would just stare at the jump-scares; Anko started laughing hysterically every time something leaped out to frighten her.  Soon, Kakashi was pretending to be scared by the jump-scares, trying to get into the spirit of things, an act that he found was encouraged by the fact that Anko just started laughing harder.

They were just at a stand afterward buying fried food, grinning and talking, when someone said behind them, “I didn’t know you two were a couple.”

They turned.

“Oh, hello, Mrs Nitta -” said Kakashi casually -

At the same time time Anko said, “No, we’re not.”

They looked at each other.

“... We’re not?” said Kakashi stupidly, feeling a lead weight in his stomach.

“Well - I -”  Anko began laughing nervously.  “I mean, we’re great friends and, yeah, we’re together, but I don’t really think -”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Mr Nitta scolded his wife.  “I heard they’d moved in together.”

“Oh, well, it’s decided, then, isn’t it?” said Mrs Nitta philosophically.  “I mean, I suppose it is a good match, you would think.”

But Anko’s eyes were getting increasingly big and frightened.   _Good_ match sounded a lot like _marriage._

“Yes, thank you, we need to go now,” said Kakashi forcefully, embarrassed and beginning to get annoyed.  He pulled Anko away.  “What was that?” he demanded in an alleyway.   _“We’re not a couple?”_

“But - we’re not -!”

“We go on dates.  We share hobbies - and a house - and pets.  We literally have sex like every day!”

“But - but I don’t -”  Anko realized the weight of what she was about to say right before she opened her stupid mouth and blurted it out: “I don’t want to be a part of a couple.  I mean, I’ve never seen myself as a couples person!” she added quickly, before realizing that just made it sound worse.

Kakashi leaned back, his face veiled, becoming cold.  “... Ah.  I see,” he said.  “My mistake.  I read the signals the wrong way.”

“Well Kakashi I mean we can still -!” said Anko desperately.

“You can.  I cannot.  My apologies.”  His conversation had become short, clipped, and to the point.  “I suppose I should have assumed as much,” he added right before he left, “from someone who is incapable even of accepting that she is loved.  Such a person would not want to be in a couple.

“Of course.”

And he left, leaving Anko standing there, very cold.

Feeling every bit like the stupid teenager, she sat down on the nearest back step and began crying.

-

When Anko appeared on Kurenai’s doorstep with a tear-stained face, Kurenai’s hand was on a kunai knife in a second.  “Oh my God what did that motherfucker do?” she growled out, holding the kunai aloft.

“Whoa, Kurenai, relax, it’s me that fucked up,” said Anko immediately, alarmed.

“Is that what he told you?” Kurenai asked, faux calm.

“No, I deduced it for myself,” said Anko irritably.

“So he guilt tripped you into thinking -”

“Kurenai, can I just come in?!”

“... Oh.  Yeah, sure.  Why didn’t you just say something?”  Kurenai stepped back to allow Anko into her home.  

“Yuhi-san,” said Anko shyly to Kurenai’s bewildered father, lowering her head.  He was sitting at the kitchen table, in the midst of books and papers.

“Dad, out!”  Kurenai pointed, her eyes flashing.  “We need the kitchen.  Now!”

“Okay.  Okay…” Yuhi-san sighed, standing and picking up his paperwork and padding out of the kitchen.  The gentle exasperation and repeated word reminded Anko of Kakashi with a pang.

She just wanted to go home and see him and have him tell her everything was going to be okay.  But she couldn’t.  Because it was him she’d fucked it up with.

That would figure.  Didn’t that sound just like her?

“What happened?” Kurenai asked Anko in genuine concern.

“I - Kurenai, I think I really fucked up,” Anko forced out in a watery voice, looking everywhere but at Kurenai.  They sat down at the kitchen table, and Anko told her what had happened.

Anko had expected for Kurenai to get angry and reject her, but instead Kurenai sat back thoughtful.

“Well, you’re right,” Kurenai said slowly, “it’s not his fault.  He actually reacted pretty well,” she admitted frankly, “considering he seemed to have assumed he was your boyfriend and you just embarrassed him by saying he wasn’t in a public place.  That’s about the best authentic, realistic reaction I suppose I’d expect.

“Here’s the thing, Anko.”  Kurenai frowned.  “I kind of assumed you guys were a thing, too.  You know.  That he _was_ your boyfriend.”  She raised her eyebrows.

“Right…” said Anko slowly, her heart sinking.

“So… what’s wrong with that idea?” Kurenai nudged.  “I’m a genjutsu user, which means I have to understand psychology.  Help me figure this out.”

“I… I don’t know, I just get… scared!” said Anko, wide-eyed.  “When I think about it!  Kurenai, I’m not - I’m a couples chick!  In my mind, I stayed a bachelorette, had an awesome sex life, and then retired to teach kids!  That was my life!  Preferably murdering Orochimaru was somewhere in that life plan!  I ate lots of good food and had a good time!”

“And you’re alone in that life plan,” Kurenai pointed out gently.

Anko froze.  She’d been about to say that wasn’t the point.  And then, in a burst of irritation… she realized it kind of was.

“I’m just scared of not being alone,” she realized in a breath.

“Anko… do you love Kakashi?  Or, I don’t know - do you think you could?  Do you care about him?  Is he sexy?  Are there any major, big-time life problems?” Kurenai asked searchingly.

“... I keep looking for something… but no.  No problems,” said Anko softly, thinking hard.  “Yeah, the sex is great.  I do care about him - a lot.  Maybe we could even grow to love each other.  The words haven’t been said yet, but… they could be.  I don’t… I don’t know what the problem is.”

“Does he make you feel… safe?”

“... Yeah,” said Anko quietly.  “He does.  I’m screwing up a really good thing because I’m scared, aren’t I?”

“Maybe,” said Kurenai.  “And maybe you should try to fix it before it’s too late.”

-

Anko did it the way Anko would.  She burst through the door, slammed into their apartment, and shouted, “KAKASHI, I LOVE YOU AND I WANT US TO BE TOGETHER!”

Kakashi looked up, staring, caught off guard.

Anko sighed, blushed, and realized she’d just totally blown any moment that might have happened between them.  “And I’m sorry,” she muttered, “for being such a raging bitch.  I just… I heard couple, and I got… scared.”

Kakashi sighed and sat back.  He’d been sitting at the kitchen table, a dog at his feet, having one of their favorite teas.

“And… I guess I understand that, but…  I just need to know you’re not going to get scared.  Every time something big happens.  It’s…”

“... The ninja in you,” Anko realized.  “Yeah.  I get that.”

She bit her lip.

“... Look, what I did today was shitty.  But I’ve decided… I’m willing to commit to this, and… that sounds cheesy, but fuck it, I’m willing to commit to this.  Okay?  No more being scared.  And I’ve handled everything else thrown at us so far.  And I love you.”

She winced and spread her arms, desperately hoping, in a way she’d never admit, to hear the words back.

“... And I love you,” said Kakashi, not deeply or romantically, but in a very Kakashi way, as though this should already be obvious and he was rather puzzled that it wasn’t.  “Clearly.  I just…

“I don’t know, sorry.  Hurt feelings, sore ego.  The usual suspects.”

He spoke quietly as he came over and they stood very close, holding hands.

“You really mean it?” he added at last uncertainly.  “The whole… committed… couple… thing?”

“Now who sounds scared,” Anko teased.

“... I’ve lost a lot of people,” said Kakashi softly, and this time he did look deep into her eyes as he said it.  Then he smiled a little, quirkily.  “And I, too, was looking forward to a life of unfettered and perverted singledom.  I’m not really the romantic type either.  Honestly, the only thing holding me back from saying something was… loyalty.  And you.  I really care about you, you know,” he said, his voice hoarse and raw.

Anko winced again and looked down.  “Yeah,” she said softly.  “I know.  I think… I think I can finally accept that.  And I mean it - the whole committed couple thing.”  She took a breath, licked her lips, and looked up at him.  “I really do.”

His eyes caught on her lips, and they kissed.

“I do, too,” he breathed, pulling back with difficulty.

Anko smiled slowly…

“Great!” she said enthusiastically.  “Now we have to clear everything up with the Nitta couple!  And Kurenai!”

“Anko, wait -!” Kakashi called, but Anko was already yanking them out the door.

Neither of them realized it at the time, but they had just demonstrated their first true act of love and forgiveness…. one on the road to many.

Their sleep tonight would be sound, safe, and secure, their arms wrapped warmly around each other.

_Fin.  Sequel to be posted shortly._


End file.
